a river runs through it

I desire to get away…I long to see new skies….but I’m here.

I’m ok with obeying the Lord, haha, I am. My heart yearns to see the river and some of my closest friends though, and in that, my heart is broken. I miss waking up early, eating a bowl of cereal, letting daniel walsh borrow milk for his, then grabbing my drybag and driving to work with 4+ ppl in my car. I miss the early morning devotion, the trip roll call, the walk to the boat shed, and even the rigging. I can feel the cold water around my ankles as I hold the boat in the eddy, attempting to explain the precautions to my customers…then jumping in and beginning a series of moments that will never be forgotten.

I thank the Lord for the blessings of memories and the grace of experience. I pray my heart stays open to His glory this summer and my mind stays on course for His abundance. 

-brew
surfs up

one love

If I live how people want me to live and live by expectations people set on me, I’m subject to living under the thumb of an easily swayed influence. I’m tired of being exhausted in the simple aspect of convincing myself that things are right/wrong, good/bad, but I want to live my life for the glory of the Lord and live with my passion for Him. I’ve hurt friends, girls, myself, and my greatest mentors in a stupid pursuit of what is false to me.

Let truth govern influence.

brew

Matthew 19:16-

We are but clinging to our flesh…we are the rich young rulers. our mandate is to love the Lord and reach the nations, but how can I possibly display a beautiful, humble, glorious Lord when He is undefined as such in my life. Only with Him can I become new, only through Him can I glorify the Lord.

Time to man up, Brandon.

William Carey

“expect great things from God, attempt great things for God.”
                                                          -William Carey

As I read the stories of these young movements in missions history, there’s a tremendous pressure on my shoulders to do something great for the Lord. I know the Lord isn’t glorified necessarily by our terms of  ’greatness’, but I have to remember that God is great, therefore I am a prime instrument of greatness for His Kingdom and Glory. I am willing.

“We keep talking about the second coming…half the world hasn’t heard of the first.” 
                                                         -Oswald J. Smith

Bored? Google these people’s stories:
            William Carey
            Samuel Mills
            Hudson Taylor
            C.T. Studd
            Cameron Townsend
            Lottie Moon
            John Wesley
            Count Zinzendorf
            Jim Elliot
            William Borden

                        

still brew.

grass

There’s grass on the fields somewhere in Montana

I’ve seen them in pictures and heard about them.

I’m not sure if I’d ever want to see them, but I’ve

always enjoyed thinking about them.

A wiser man once told me they don’t exist,

that it’s pointless to dream of them.

I guess that’s what I catch myself doing…just dreaming.

Looking at it now, I wasn’t made to stand on a field and look at grass.

That sounds ridiculous, tormenting, not dreamy…

 

                                                                                   …more of a nightmare.

behind stage.

there’s always a breath of fresh air in the sense of friendship. simple authenticity in conversation and the notable fact that nothing can change how the receiving end of a spoken word thanks and loves you, simply for being you. an open mind fuels open arms. 

 

thanks, to a friend.

-brew.

sparrows (random)

there’s an old African legend about sparrows i’d like to share with you…for those that still see this and are updated in my life, i think you’ll understand.

 

    Long before the civilization of humanity and the founding of our own beliefs, there lived a flock of sparrows just off the southern tip of the African continent. Every year, over 200 sparrows die in this region. They’re overwhelmed with the need for new life. Every day, for just over one hundred years, the birds would fly north, towards the center of the monstorous land mass. They searched, each and everyday, for a better climate, perfect vegetation, and life. 

    They would branch into groups, flying this way and that, searching and longing for the perfect home. However, one by one the birds began to give up on such a pursuit and just became satisfied with the southern African environment. Out of the flock of 24,108 male sparrows, only 6 stayed consistent in the dream of the home worth flying for. 

    These few all split up, day by day, and came back at the same time to share their findings. One was very persistent on the vegetation just into the borders of Zambia, he was determined to live there, and so he did. Soon into his oasis, him and his family were eaten by the jaguars. Two others, partnered in their daily flights, were very convinced the weather in Kenya was exactly what they needed. Two weeks later, their families moved there. That night, all 7 of those sparrows were eaten alive by the giant ants. Two more sparrows only flew for 10 minutes and found the ideal nesting site, located on the southern border of Botswana. Three weeks later, the two sparrows died of dehydration and starvation. After such tragedy, there was only one remaining flyer. The tribes of current African cultures refer to this sparrow as that of the Lion Bird. 

     The Lion Bird fought threw all three destinations and was not pleased with any of them, however; he survived. He was looking for the perfect combination of all of them, dangers included, for the Lion Bird wanted life, not comfort. He then returned to where his first flight as a young bird had taken him. Just into the borders of Rwanda there wasn’t the perfect vegetation, nor the perfect climate…but there, the fighting Sparrow found waters of hope and promises of true abundant life. The Lion Bird learned one lesson from such a hard, humiliating life. A simple lesson that sounds quite obvious, but so often it is discarded. 

“Stay true to what is true if you’re truly pursuing truth.”

know the river, know the raft.

I think it’s humorous how we decorate our faith as a lifejacket rather than a raft… let me explain. When you’re on the river (in life) the goals are to have fun and stay out of the water. In our lives, as Christians, we often see that we have to wear this uncomfortable lifejacket; It’s too tight, it’s really hot, it’s something we want – but not really kind of idea that only serves the purpose of comforting our Salvation rather than us desiring such a gift. If our perspective shifts to seeing our faith in Christ as more of a raft, I believe God is more glorified. In the raft each individual is experiencing their own thrill, but they’re growing together through it. In essence, it’s doing exactly what the lifejacket does, except you aren’t focusing on the fact that you’re floating on the water, you’re focused on the people around you and the river. In life, I believe Christ has called us to be aware of our surroundings and wise for the Kingdom, dodging rocks, hitting waves correctly, and being prepared for what the river throws at us. The only way to do such a thing is to know what the river does and understand how the raft works in the water. Half the believers in the world right now have no idea how to get out of temptation, how to pray/what is prayer, the characteristics and desires of God, and even what they can handle as far as temptation goes. Know how your faith is played out in the world, not just what it looks like on paper or how big and mighty you can sound talking about it. God is the focus of our pursuit, not Salvation.

 

-BREW

the flood’s over.

so Noah’s Ark is done, at least for this year. i am home and ready for the fall semester of school – im fairly sure… i’m beginning to think it’s just my desire to see my friends and melissa. as well as just being back in a system of motives and goals. i feel, just sitting at home, as if i waste days and always end up sleeping forever or wasting away the time. a lot of friends are out of town and the rents have their agenda – it seems that everyday is just me. 

i find myself conversing with God and diving into His clarity and guidance, so in irony, i left a solid Christian community almost dry of God’s presence and simply dove into His arms once back home. awesome how God works:)

 

i’m going to try and start enjoying coffee – i think it’s a prime time way to catch up with someone and, quite honestly, i think it’d be fun to carry around a mug or coffee jug thing. yeah, so that’s my hopeful goal by the time school starts.

off beat.

I find myself finding routine. everyday, wake up – rig boats – go down the river, occasional day off, worship on Sunday nights. advancing the kingdom? perhaps….but not seeking it.

a guy led our morning devo this morning and challenged us to “crucify ourselves today and live for Christ”… that’s freaking every day, don’t act like it’s a point to where we give one day a week to God or what not. we are called to give our lives to God. i get so frustrated at myself for doing things i know are wrong and thinking things i know bring shadows, but im reminded of the grace God gives me – just as Paul writes in his letters.

i feel that i am surrounded by so many followers of Christ everyday that i lack in challenging myself to rely on Christ and my Salvation thru Him in my life. even as i write this i can see how i need to pursue my relationship and find my refuge in Christ but even then, i still don’t. i think dry is the word right now in my walk, i feel that i am stepping into so many areas of the life i’m given that i don’t see the movement and presence of the Lord. pray for selflessness and ultimately the breakdown of my own desires.

random, maybe a little weird, just wanted to get it out.