the flood’s over.

so Noah’s Ark is done, at least for this year. i am home and ready for the fall semester of school – im fairly sure… i’m beginning to think it’s just my desire to see my friends. as well as just being back in a system of motives and goals. i feel, just sitting at home, as if i waste days and always end up sleeping forever or wasting away the time. a lot of friends are out of town and the rents have their agenda – it seems that everyday is just me.

i find myself conversing with God and diving into His clarity and guidance, so in irony, i left a solid Christian community almost dry of God’s presence and simply dove into His arms once back home. awesome how God works:)

i’m going to try and start enjoying coffee – i think it’s a prime time way to catch up with someone and, quite honestly, i think it’d be fun to carry around a mug or coffee jug thing. yeah, so that’s my hopeful goal by the time school starts.

off beat.

I find myself finding routine. everyday, wake up – rig boats – go down the river, occasional day off, worship on Sunday nights. advancing the kingdom? perhaps….but not seeking it.

a guy led our morning devo this morning and challenged us to “crucify ourselves today and live for Christ”… that’s freaking every day, don’t act like it’s a point to where we give one day a week to God or what not. we are called to give our lives to God. i get so frustrated at myself for doing things i know are wrong and thinking things i know bring shadows, but im reminded of the grace God gives me – just as Paul writes in his letters.

i feel that i am surrounded by so many followers of Christ everyday that i lack in challenging myself to rely on Christ and my Salvation thru Him in my life. even as i write this i can see how i need to pursue my relationship and find my refuge in Christ but even then, i still don’t. i think dry is the word right now in my walk, i feel that i am stepping into so many areas of the life i’m given that i don’t see the movement and presence of the Lord. pray for selflessness and ultimately the breakdown of my own desires.

random, maybe a little weird, just wanted to get it out.

true?

“There is only one real failure in life that is possible, and that is, not to be true to the truth one knows.”
                                   — John Farrar (1945- ) Australian Composer

Fallen, but Lifted.

just finished watching a movie titled, “Fallen”, starring Denzel Washington. the movie deals with a demon who murders people and is passed from person to person through touch… this entry is not going to deal with my faith in demons and such, but more of what God threw at me during the film. 

denzel washington is a detective who is taunted by this demon and as he hunts down this ‘criminal’ his life is slowly spun into a mess. i began to think of how at first glance one would ask, “why does God allow things like this to happen to people? is that considered punishment? how could God let someone go through this?”  the true question, in reflection of God’s grace, is why does God not allow this to happen to everyone? what have I done to deserve the good things in my life? why has my sin not put me in situations where my world is blowing up around me? 

God’s grace in our life goes so unnoticed and unreflected upon. my life should have been over 19 years ago, for i deserve death. i do not deserve to see the sun peaking over the mountains, or hear the sound of an acoustic guitar singing praise, or even to hug a friend in reference to their loyalty…I do not deserve this good in my life. in paul’s second letter to the church in Corinth he says in chapter 2, verse 4 and 5 that it is by God’s mercy we are alive in Christ, for it is by grace we have been saved. so often we question the grace given by God, but never reflect on the grace of our foundation and ultimate salvation through Christ. 

cool perspective, eh?

-B