off beat.

I find myself finding routine. everyday, wake up – rig boats – go down the river, occasional day off, worship on Sunday nights. advancing the kingdom? perhaps….but not seeking it.

a guy led our morning devo this morning and challenged us to “crucify ourselves today and live for Christ”… that’s freaking every day, don’t act like it’s a point to where we give one day a week to God or what not. we are called to give our lives to God. i get so frustrated at myself for doing things i know are wrong and thinking things i know bring shadows, but im reminded of the grace God gives me – just as Paul writes in his letters.

i feel that i am surrounded by so many followers of Christ everyday that i lack in challenging myself to rely on Christ and my Salvation thru Him in my life. even as i write this i can see how i need to pursue my relationship and find my refuge in Christ but even then, i still don’t. i think dry is the word right now in my walk, i feel that i am stepping into so many areas of the life i’m given that i don’t see the movement and presence of the Lord. pray for selflessness and ultimately the breakdown of my own desires.

random, maybe a little weird, just wanted to get it out.