the flood’s over.

so Noah’s Ark is done, at least for this year. i am home and ready for the fall semester of school – im fairly sure… i’m beginning to think it’s just my desire to see my friends and melissa. as well as just being back in a system of motives and goals. i feel, just sitting at home, as if i waste days and always end up sleeping forever or wasting away the time. a lot of friends are out of town and the rents have their agenda – it seems that everyday is just me. 

i find myself conversing with God and diving into His clarity and guidance, so in irony, i left a solid Christian community almost dry of God’s presence and simply dove into His arms once back home. awesome how God works:)

 

i’m going to try and start enjoying coffee – i think it’s a prime time way to catch up with someone and, quite honestly, i think it’d be fun to carry around a mug or coffee jug thing. yeah, so that’s my hopeful goal by the time school starts.

off beat.

I find myself finding routine. everyday, wake up – rig boats – go down the river, occasional day off, worship on Sunday nights. advancing the kingdom? perhaps….but not seeking it.

a guy led our morning devo this morning and challenged us to “crucify ourselves today and live for Christ”… that’s freaking every day, don’t act like it’s a point to where we give one day a week to God or what not. we are called to give our lives to God. i get so frustrated at myself for doing things i know are wrong and thinking things i know bring shadows, but im reminded of the grace God gives me – just as Paul writes in his letters.

i feel that i am surrounded by so many followers of Christ everyday that i lack in challenging myself to rely on Christ and my Salvation thru Him in my life. even as i write this i can see how i need to pursue my relationship and find my refuge in Christ but even then, i still don’t. i think dry is the word right now in my walk, i feel that i am stepping into so many areas of the life i’m given that i don’t see the movement and presence of the Lord. pray for selflessness and ultimately the breakdown of my own desires.

random, maybe a little weird, just wanted to get it out.

true?

“There is only one real failure in life that is possible, and that is, not to be true to the truth one knows.”
                                   — John Farrar (1945- ) Australian Composer

Fallen, but Lifted.

just finished watching a movie titled, “Fallen”, starring Denzel Washington. the movie deals with a demon who murders people and is passed from person to person through touch… this entry is not going to deal with my faith in demons and such, but more of what God threw at me during the film. 

denzel washington is a detective who is taunted by this demon and as he hunts down this ‘criminal’ his life is slowly spun into a mess. i began to think of how at first glance one would ask, “why does God allow things like this to happen to people? is that considered punishment? how could God let someone go through this?”  the true question, in reflection of God’s grace, is why does God not allow this to happen to everyone? what have I done to deserve the good things in my life? why has my sin not put me in situations where my world is blowing up around me? 

God’s grace in our life goes so unnoticed and unreflected upon. my life should have been over 19 years ago, for i deserve death. i do not deserve to see the sun peaking over the mountains, or hear the sound of an acoustic guitar singing praise, or even to hug a friend in reference to their loyalty…I do not deserve this good in my life. in paul’s second letter to the church in Corinth he says in chapter 2, verse 4 and 5 that it is by God’s mercy we are alive in Christ, for it is by grace we have been saved. so often we question the grace given by God, but never reflect on the grace of our foundation and ultimate salvation through Christ. 

cool perspective, eh?

-B

hyperetas…google it.

we had staff worship tonight and the Spirit really worked in me and put into perspective how I view God. It seemed like elementary truth being restored within me. I was reminded of how God is not an idea of blessings and a ultimate source of power where i send in requests and try to please. God is not this routine of good that is practiced within my relationships and daily morals. God is powerful, yes, God is good, yes, but God is God. How can I possibly try and mesh Him into my life? How could I even attempt to plan my life and then throw God in? How foolish and naive. I am but a servant to my God and completely molded by what He wants and pursues through me. I am not just another guy, I am not just another man on the Earth, I am a Spirit breathed creation of the living God, and in that I will find my power and in that will i pursue the desires of my heart. I pray that my mind stays open to the workings of the Spirit and not closed to who God is and what He’s doing in His creatures, I pray that my mind puts a clamp on what I think I know about God but more of a rip into the curtains of what God is shining through. 

 I hope God challenges your walk and perception of His glory. Trust in the truth of His salvation, in that God’s glory is inevitable. 

 

1 Corinthians 1:18

-Brew

word.

 

we try to create and build our own surroundings.

we try and find true joy in God’s creation.

we try and soak up the world in others.

we try and find purpose in others.

we try to live a worthy life.

we try to live a life.

we try to live.

 we try. 

 

this just makes me think of how little of my pursuit of the Kingdom actually is focused on God and His love, grace, and power. So often it seems that I find my “fill” in the things He has done and the great many blessings He has given me, which are so great, but they are not my God. I do realize and understand that part of glorifying God is finding that satisfaction in His blessings and in His great will, but I still feel that God is still most glorified when our satisfaction comes directly from Him and our pursuit and fellowship with the Holy Spirit. I have now come to a realization that true worship is simply defined as fellowship with the Holy Spirit -in this I believe that we encounter and live with the Spirit as Christians, but when we delight in His presence (trials, convictions, healing, power, etc.) and truly delight in the Spirit, we are worshiping. If that’s singing, reading, dancing, closing your eyes, meditating, etc…so be it, I believe it to be worship. I love this idea and perspective God has thrown at me. In John 9:35-41 it tells of how Christ healed a blind man and it wasn’t until after Christ told him that He was the Son of Man that he began to “worship”. I think that when we realize who we are loving, ‘worshiping’, and claiming to live by we begin to worship. When I fear my God, commit to my God, and ultimately realize who I’m talking, living with= I worship Him to the upmost. By definition, if I do truly recognize Him, I can do nothing but worship Him in my life.

 

I hope that made sense (?) I encourage you to read that passage in John, if my lil weak paragraph didn’t make sense I guarantee God won’t hide anything from you lol. 

-B

Perspective

Things keep happening with the Lord in a pace that is almost overwhelming. I had asked several of you to pray for a new perspective on things and lose the luxury of comfort in my world… thank you for your prayers and please continue to do so. In regard to your prayers, God has rocked my world no doubt. My passions, motives, and even my purpose was just what i didn’t want – comfortable and selfish. He opened my eyes through simple activities through out the day to how my mind functions in regard to my own glory and advancement. God has appointed a challenging environment for me and a challenging atmosphere to grow in, but He remains sovereign and good. I have a new love for His will and glory, not just a feeling of responsibility. Something quick and hopefully it makes sense… challenge yourself to be more for God’s glory. 

-holla

2 Timothy 1:7 
live without fear in the name of Lord, deny yourself and follow Him.

 

new gifts in new wrappings

So it’s been a while since I updated, due to my transition into the valley of Buena Vista, CO. The snow is still on the mountains and the river is roaring up for the summer. My time in the Word has deflated due to the scheduling, so that time with Christ is even more fueling. I think what is most encouraging is how Christ fills me everyday, not with just joy, but worship… meeting me where I am. I’m ready for change and God is throwing it at me. Before I left for Colorado I prayed that God would just break me down into where I need to be so I can reconstruct my true faith and build my truth on Him. As usual, God answered me sooner than I thought haha. My second day of training we hiked into the mountains and camped out in a foot and a half of snow… It was almost overwhelming how beautiful and honestly, how rough it was to be comfortable; which brings me to my main point in blogging. I think it’s amazing how uncomfortable camping, hiking, backpacking, sitting in the dry grass, climbing mountains, swimming across rivers, and even living out of your element it. I have the opportunity to live on the edge of God’s creation, at it’s finest, and it’s not comfortable. God is so wild and untamable, how can I possibly get comfortable as a Christian? How can I be comfortable and still “seek” Him? God has called us to be a sword to the world and live on faith alone. Just this first week has caused me to reflect on how comfortable my ‘faith’ was at home and how comfortable my walk had become. I challenge the few who read this to not be comfortable in your faith, but to pursue that worship in Christ and seek His glory in your world. 

put some snow on your mountains and let it raise your current:)

 

-B

“sword”

it’s been a while but truths have been growing, as well as new learnings. just keeping it simple…here’s a passage that requires a break down. when you have time, break it down and learn. that’s been my experience through it…so, enough from me for now:

“Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven. Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”    -Matthew 10:32-34

it’s basic, but breaking through the words and theology taught me a few things in my walk and perception of Christ. i enjoyed it.

-B

silence.

I’ve come to conclusion that one of my favorite hobbies is to simply think. Sit quiet, maybe reading or music, but just to sit and think of theology, scripture, the Spirit, and even relationships. I think it’s interesting how God communicates so well in silence.

Last night melissa and I were talking about how water is such a perfect example of Christ in the lives of His followers, and today that truth has just got me thinking. Think of the qualities of water, what comes to mind first? To me, it’s the obvious factor that water itself provides life and health for us. There is an obvious parallel to that spiritually that we won’t go into. Secondly, I think of how beautiful water is to us and how powerful bodies of water are. Just standing over the edge of a cruise liner looking into an endless stretch of ocean is so beautiful and overwhelming. Looking over the lake from a bridge or boat is just worth sitting and gazing for a while… it’s the beauty and mystery of the water. Point is that in the simple, calm state the water is so beautiful to us and almost doesn’t seem real. When our God requires of us to sit and just meditate on His word and His presence, imagine the beauty and power that is revealed to us. I have enjoyed thinking and sitting this week, breaking from studying, in just a simple awe of God’s power. In parallel to how a person stops and looks over this body of water, I think we are called to sit and gaze upon Christ’s beauty and power. These are minor points associated with the concept of water, but fitting to my walk right now. Hope there’s time later to expand on it’s symbolism to me.

Simple concept, hope it’s a recall to your worship though.

-B